Couples Therapy
It is both inevitable and healthy for couples to fight. However, when the frequency and intensity of your fights start negatively impacting your health and well-being, it may be time to speak with a professional. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn tools to communicate effectively, achieve goals together, or work through a specific situation or deep rooted conflict. If you are considering a breakup or divorce, having a professional present can help you make an informed decision on what will be best for the relationship.
What can I expect in couples therapy?
I may begin the initial session to learn about each of you individually as well as how you formed your relationship (similarly to an individual therapy session). I may also appear to be doing a lot of observing in the beginning. This is so that I can get a feel for how communication and conflict may play out in your relationship so I can identify unhealthy patterns that keep you feeling stuck, dissatisfied, or disconnected. I may point things out to you and pause you, to allow for active listening and understanding to ensure that poor communication patterns are not repeated.
My Personal beliefs and approach:
A lot of times we may have needs not being met that we cannot even identify for ourselves, let alone for our partners. This is where non-violent communication skills may be helpful.
The non-violent framework provides a systematic approach that teaches us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming, shaming, or criticizing others.
Often we may communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively, which is so familiar and automatic that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. This leaves us feeling powerless in relationships because we are unable to get our needs met, so we repeat the same conflicts and feel alone.
By learning to identify our needs and understand our emotions, we can learn to make requests for change in empathic and compassionate ways.
This approach can be applied to any relationship and transforms the way we connect, leading to deeper and more intimate bonds.